One of my friends has been given a piece of advice that has really set me thinking.
HALT, they said. Stop, look and listen. Watch out for situations where you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. This is when destructive behaviour patterns can set in.
Hungry, angry, lonely and tired. It sounded like a description of how I've been feeling over the past ten years or so. Pick any two (or three) and there you have it. I've thought about this a lot, these last few days.
I can change, I do believe that. But it will probably take a long time of hard work. However, something I could address relatively easily, straight away, would be to avoid these trigger situations. That will be one of my first tasks on the list.
Right now it is 12.30am.
Am I hungry? No. I've just been out for a curry with my friends. Sensibly chose all veggie things, so I am full but not uncomfortably stuffed.
Am I angry? Not right now. I was angry earlier this afternoon, but I've let those feelings pass through now.
Am I lonely? Not right now. I've spent an evening with 3 of my best friends, so I'm reminded I have good people who love me close by. But when I get home to the empty house, and when I wake up in the empty house, I think that will be lonely.
Am I tired? Oh god yes. I should have been in bed hours ago. However I'm working (and writing this...) now because I decided to have the nice, spontaneous evening earlier so it's a good trade.
I ought to go home and go to bed soon, though.
