Have you noticed that posh people like to start the day with foods that begin with the letter K?
They had to choose a consonant because they'd already swallowed their vowels for the day as soon as they uttered the word "brkfst". Can't gulp down too many of those pesky vowels in one go, of course, in case they get tangled up in the silver spoon.
Kippers. Kidneys. Kedgeree. What on earth are you thinking?! These aren't foods for the morning. No, no, no. Much too rich and savoury. Only suitable if you've been out fox-hunting for a few hours first. They are also foods that involve special equipment which normal people don''t have. Chafing dishes. Sideboards. Those special kipper jugs.
Get off our letter K. It belongs to us plebs and our pleb foods. K for breakfast stands only for Kelloggs, and if you want a double dose, Special K. It's for Kit-Kats, kebabs and ketchup. Or if you're out and about, it's for Krispy Kremes and KFC (which is not a football team, before you try and prove your common touch).
Proper breakfast is tea and toast, as any fule kno. Knickers to you, fancy-pants posh boys.
No comments:
Post a Comment