Well folks, this is it.
After all the angst, the drama, the arguments, the tears - I am finally calling time on this toxic, hurtful, heartbreaking relationship. I don't see that there is anything more I can do, anything else I can try.
We have sketched out a financial deal. I have filed a divorce petition ("separation for 2 years") and he has signed the paper. The lovely house we restored together and made into our home is on the market. I have made an offer on a new house - in a different part of town, thought that would be best.
My Big Birthday passed without a big trip or a big celebration - drinks with friends, some nice meals out. He bought me a scented candle. I think you could divorce someone just for that. I'm buying myself a house in France. No excuse not to follow my own dreams now, right?
The Big Plan had been to wait until Thing 1 and Thing 2 were safely off to college but in the end I just couldn't hold out another two years. We have just come back from our last family holiday all together (went OK actually, only one major argument).
Sometimes I feel excited about what the future will hold. Sometimes I'm apprehensive. This is mainly because we plan to carry on working together and I'm not sure how that will pan out. It's also partly on account of the Brexit, the economic situation and what will happen in the business.
One thing I have learned is that whatever I am feeling, writing always helps. So here I am, back on the page, strolling around at the jumping-off point. Another thing I'm learning is that there isn't one-big jump-off. It's a series of small mundane actions. There ought to be something that's like a wedding or a funeral, an occasion to mark the finish. Maybe I'll have to invent one.
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