Seven Reasons

I was a looking at an article on MSN the other day entitled Men: Seven Reasons You’re Not Having Sex. Go on, admit it. You're curious too. 

Written by a man, it suggests the following.  (Look it up and see him expand on these if you so desire). Guys, it could be:

1. Your bedroom isn’t sexy any more
2. You’re too busy
3. You don’t like your body
4. You spend too long looking at porn
5. You’re bored of sex
6. You have too much entertainment
7. Your partner doesn’t want to

I thought a wife's perspective might be useful here, so I've come up with my own variants on these seven.

1. Your bedroom isn’t sexy any more: it’s filled with piles of car magazines, partly-worn clothes of yours, the cardboard insides of toilet rolls that you never throw away and a number of hardback books you will never read. And you... watching sport, or in bed working on the laptop or making shouty business calls.

2. She’s too busy: running around doing laundry, shopping, mum-taxi, running the household. Oh, and holding down a full time executive job.

3. You don’t like your body. She doesn’t like your body. You don’t like her body. She doesn’t like her body. Neither of you are 22 any more. Shocker.

4. You’ve spent so long looking at porn, you can’t muster a decent erection now unless you’re surrounded by Scandinavian lesbians with no body hair.

5. You’re boring at sex. Maybe you’ve always been boring, but now she’s bored of faking, so you’ve only just realised after all these years that perhaps you’re not very good.

6. She has better things to entertain her: good wine, good friends, good conversation, a good book.

7. You don’t want to.

You know what? I was looking for a photo to illustrate this post, and I searched in Google Images for "not having sex any more". There are 154,000,000 results. So it's probably not just you...