Maybe the reason I am able to keep calm and carry on through all this turmoil is that huge parts of my life never felt real to me in the first place. So much of what I have been, what I have done, the life I have lived was not for the likes of me.
I always suffered from Impostor Syndrome, that feeling that someone was going to tap me on the shoulder and explain that had been a dreadful mistake and that someone else was supposed to be in my seat.
So now it's all slipping away, and I am numb, watching it slide through my fingers like sand.
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