Book Hopscotch

This is my view every Saturday. As an aficionado of 'shelfies', it's not a bad outlook. 

I try to sit somewhere different each week, so that I don't become one of those people who have their own spot. Deadens the thinking, having the same perspective all the time. Did you know this is why we instinctively tilt our heads when we're curious? Animals do this too. It's to get a slightly different view. 

This weekend I can take a journey through time, just by scanning the shelves opposite.  I can start with the fabulously titled Feeble Mindedness and Mental Deficiency. On through Outwitting Our Nerves to the Psychotherapy section. Scan past Freud, Kinsey, Shere Hite and Why Is Sex Fun? then before you know it, I'm straight into Psychosexual Problems, Perversion and The Pathology And Treatment of Sexual Deviation. After that we segue into depression and suicide. 

Pretty miserable stuff - and fortunately not my own topics of research. Sure I'd much be rather be having sex on a rainy Saturday afternoon than working in the library, but you can't always get what you want, right?

Her Comes The Bride

How very Guardian. Here’s a piece about a girl who was so in love with herself she decided to marry herself.  As if reading this article wasn’t bad enough, I also suffered her being interviewed on the Today programme on Monday.  When you’ve finished laughing (at her, not with her) let’s ponder what this ceremony might actually be about. 

There are a number of unpleasant alternatives from which we might choose.

Is it the self-obsession of young people taken to its extreme? And I’m asking this with only the merest trace of irony as someone who blogs the interminable drivel of me me me.  

Is it about showing off, about being the kind of person who can’t do anything without announcing it to the world? Making some promises to myself in diary just wouldn’t be enough, it has to be formalised and witnessed.  Sadly most of her family weren’t able to attend “for logistical reasons”. You don’t say.

Is about being so desperate to be a bride that you just can’t wait any more? Just want to get that wedding dress, design the invites, choose the flowers?

Is about Verfremdung, about splitting yourself into parts? If you marry yourself, you must feel that you were separated before. That’s not a good way to be.

I’m sure the honeymoon would be great fun. But how would it be different from any other night on my own? Seducing myself wouldn’t be much of a challenge – I figure after all this time it’s a bit late to play hard to get. I’m sure I wouldn’t mind if I hadn’t shaved my legs, and I wouldn’t bother with the suspenders and all that jazz.

"I'd been essentially single for six years". Well, no shit. Having listened to this young woman on the radio, I have a sneaking suspicion that I know why she might be on her own. She sounded like a total pain in the arse. At least this way she won't get left on the shelf. 

Wonder whether she'll publish another article when she gets bored with herself and the nag nag nag of her inner voice, and has an affair? I can't wait. 

Hero's Welcome

You know I like a sexy building. And they don't come much sexier than the Wellcome Library. It's been one of my favourite places since I ran a project there a few years ago, but lately it's become my second home.

I'll be spending Saturdays there, writing. There is hardly anyone here at the weekend, so it's lovely and quiet. There are no more excuses not to get on with it. Here are the things I'll be working on (in no particular order).

• developing a poetry collection
• submitting poetry to journals
• writing my novels (yep, 2 started)
• writing reviews
• blogging

These are a few of my favourite things. More about the raindrops on roses, brown paper packages tied up with string, crisp apple strudels and all that shit later.

God's Own Shortlist

As if we needed more proof that Cameron is completely out of touch with everything and everybody, he said last week that William Hague is the greatest living Yorkshireman. 

This is so ludicrous I couldn't even think about without foaming at the mouth for a fair few days. Then I thought I'd better make a definitive list. Why shouldn't it be me? I'm better at choosing than Camoron. 

So here we go - in no particular order. See if I'm right.

• 
  
• Alan Bennett
• Geoff Boycott
• David Hockney
• Michael Palin
• Margaret Drabble
• Patrick Stewart
• Jess Ennis
• Jarvis Cocker
• Sean Bean
• Judi Dench

Sorry about Sean. I know you might dispute it  -  but I can't live without that man and his starring role in the spank bank.