Crush

Schadenfreude is an unappealing emotion, I freely admit. But I couldn't help feeling a frisson of excitement at the news that Susan Sarandon is unexpectedly back on the market.

I have had a crush on Susan for about 25 years now. At first it was silent, guilty. Girls don't fancy other girls, right? Not if they like boys too? Everything was very clear cut when I was younger. You were straight, or you were gay. Or you were David Bowie.

I like the fact that these days it seems to be far more acceptable to blur the edges. I could rave on poetically for hours about her creamy skin, her lovely eyes and smile, her fantastic breasts, how she exudes sex....but such an ode might be in poor taste. And/or unnerving for those people who have categorised me into a different, narrower box.

So I'll just confess that she has featured regularly in my fantasies since a weekend of impressionable coincidence when I saw her one evening in her full splendour in the Rocky Horror Picture Show, followed the next day by watching her being seduced by Catherine Deneuve in The Hunger....... (oh to be in that scene....)

If you're not sure what to do in this flat dead period between one party and the next, a day in bed with Susan isn't a bad option. You could try Bull Durham to complete the set (Susan and a younger Kevin Costner, on the kitchen table....).

Anyway. I had resigned myself to merely aspiring to Be Susan when I grow up - but now it seems she's single again, who knows?