Election Fever

I'm staying up to watch the election. It won't be as exciting as 1997, which notwithstanding the way things have turned out more recently for Labour still counts as a great milestone on the timeline of my life.

Having made my decision based on a reasoned assessment of the policies, and ignoring the personalities for now, I thought I would find out how my littlest little girl would vote. She's watched a bit of the debates, and her Golden Sunshine party at school won their election this morning. She thought carefully.

"Well. I wouldn't vote for Gordon Brown, because he's blind".

Aaargh! I'm raising a monster! Why couldn't we vote for someone who is blind?

"He won't be able to read any of the papers so he won't be able to make good decisions".

I reminded her that Gordy is only blind in one eye, and has already been prime minister for quite a while. We had a little try at reading with one eye covered up and found it was still possible. I also explained that he would have a team of people to support him.

"But he shouts at them and throws things. He's grumpy and mean. We wouldn't want a leader who is grumpy and mean because other leaders won't like him then we'll get left out of stuff".

We considered Nick Clegg. Not a viable proposition apparently. "He interrupted too much on the television. Interrupting is rude. And he looked a bit orange. Fake tan, fake man." That was the end of the Lib Dems then.

"David Cameron is the best. He went to a really expensive luxury school and university where kings and leaders go, to get trained up. And he is really posh. So he will be the best person to be in charge".

I was slightly taken aback at her rationale, but I fear it's no worse than many others within the electorate. According to a number of articles I've seen lately, as a woman I will apparently be making my voting decision based on the wives of the party leaders.

On that basis, how would I vote?

Gordon's marriage is as genuine and heartfelt as Prince Edward's (and both of them married to PR consultants - interesting...) I quite like Sarah but I do have a problem with the overall sham and duplicity of it. Come out the closet, both of you. No one cares nowadays.

Samantha seems unutterably horrible, in many ways. Her frocks. Her flimsy but ludicrously expensive stationery (blue, of course). Her "discovered" modelling photos (oh god....) and of course her immaculately-timed pregnancy. Bleargh. Retch. Heave.

I'm voting for Miriam. They're the only couple who married for love not for social expectation or show. And let's face it, he's comparison-shopped, as he said. She's brainy, cool, European and has good clothes. She's got small children and yet holds a down a hardcore highflying legal career. And she completely refused to engage in the whole pre-election spouse thing, saying it was demeaning. Respect.

Let's see what the morning brings.