Clarity

The buried church at Rutland Water

Sometimes I dig myself into such a place, I wonder how I'll ever get out of it.

But today I feel that expecting less is probably the key. Accept what is offered, while it is there.

And accept (this is the hard part) that in the face of irresistible competition the only way I can maintain my dignity is to lose gracefully.

I wept, I raged. Oh god, you don't know the half of it. Tore myself to pieces inside, took myself to the edge of insanity  -  or maybe even over the edge, we'll never be sure.

And then I thought: the universe will not shift its ways for me. I sit where I sit in the pecking order of life and love. If the waters are rising around me, all I can do, rooted to my spot, is shore myself up.

You're not the only one who's counting down the days, you know.