Are You Sitting Comfortably?

Then I'll begin. Today's workshop on Writing For Radio has made me realise what a poor listener I am. All the examples we heard, I only started paying attention when the voices began. How much richness and detail am I missing - how many regions of my brain are languishing unlit?

I worked out that I haven't been to a writing group since 1985. As I have spent a significant amount of the intervening time whining on endlessly about wanting to be a writer, it's a shame I haven't applied myself more assiduously to learning the craft. Obviously I kid myself that reading a lot is part of my research. This can include reading about writing, but not actually doing many of the practical exercises that unsurprisingly tend to form a major part of How To Write books.

I write lots of other things. Reports. Proposals. Training manuals. Trade press articles. Birthday cards. Shopping lists. Drivelling self-indulgent teenage bedtime diaries that can reliably track my hormone cycle for the last thirty years or so. But proper creative writing? Published pieces (any sort): nul. Completed novels and short stories: zero. Shards and scraps: a lifetime's worth.

Sometimes I toy with the idea that I could piece them all together to create a whole. I picture an amazing creative meisterwerk, a Gaudi mosaic. When I've tried this, though, the results are redolent of Scrapheap Challenge or the hideous mutant dolls-head-on-spider-legs the evil boy next door cobbles together in Toy Story.

I harbour the urge to create something new and pure. If only to quieten somewhat the maelstrom of characters, events and snatches of conversation that circle eternally through my head, imploring me to sow them in a suitable spot and see how they might grow.

Audio drama is therefore appealing. Having given this medium never a moment's thought before today, the freshness of the challenge enthused me with the energy to make a fresh start.

Me being me, I am now of course avoiding writing a new radio play by setting up a new blog instead.

Must try harder.