Back Story

I had a blog before, but I took it down (long story). I missed blogging though, and that's one reason why I started this one. So I was very excited when I got my old writing loaded back onto my laptop yesterday - and I thought I might occasionally re-post some of the old stuff on here to see if I've changed.

I started to read, but I didn't get far, as I had signed up for a three day intense course which kicked off today. I had imagined that I would from my blogging some progression, a development, a learning coming through from the posts over those years.

The course was talking a lot about the stories we tell ourselves, that then define the things we do to support those stories and keep on making them true.

I have lots of different ways of telling the same story...... I see that now, looking back. I'm trapped in a story of my own making, putting myself in a place I don't want to be. I don't know whether blogging those old entries will carry on reinforcing something that perhaps I should be working to shake off?

Looking myself in the eye is never pleasant, as I don't like what I see. And if I don't like myself, I guess that might be why I accept other people sharing my view..... me me me blah blah blah zzzz

This course is already holding up some uncomfortable home truths. I'm having to force myself to go back tomorrow and take some more medicine. There's a song I'm reaching for here....