Bermuda

"We should definitely eat more triangular food," she announced with certainty. "Most definitely".

???

"I had some Indian triangles at Alice's house and they were really good. Not the argy-bargies, the other things. The triangles".

Ah. "Would you like us to have samosas?"

"Yes. And other triangle things. I like the taste of triangles, I've been learning about them at school".

Ok. So, since I cannot deliver on any of the main things a mum should provide (calm, happy home for example), I have been giving some thought to triangles. Having applied my brain to this  -  easier to solve than other more intractable problems  - I have developed a theory that all foods can be classified as follows:

MUST be a triangle: this includes not just samosas, but following some brainstorming in the Malvern Hills (multitasking, me) also Laughing Cow, Toblerone, Doritos. Not that many things, as it goes.

OFTEN a triangle: of course, there are many foods that could theoretically be cut into a triangle, but some often or commonly appear in this shape. Examples would be Brie and other cheeses, slices of cake, pizza, and sandwiches. 

RARELY a triangle: In this category fall a lot of soft-ish, round or tubular things that could easily be cut into triangles even though they rarely are (Jaffa cakes, small pieces of things like banana, carrot, cucumber). And finally some foods that, although it would be plain wrong to cut them into triangles, could very easily be. For instance Battenburg cake, McVities Jamaican Ginger cake, hamburgers, marshmallow teacakes.

NEVER a triangle: this is the category I am enjoying thinking about the most. So far I'm thinking Pringles, Twiglets, spring rolls, sausages, hot dogs, Easter eggs, scrambled eggs, chocolate fingers,  broccoli, biscuits, rice krispie cakes, Hula Hoops, calamari.

We have been blind taste testing to see whether food cut into triangles tastes different due to the shape. I'm saying not, Terrible Tweenager 2 (oh god, my Mac doesn't have a hash key?!) is saying it's easy to tell. We are now entering a secondary discussion about fair tests, scientific rigour and objectivity in experiments.


Sometimes it's nice to lose yourself in the Bermuda Triangle of inconsequentiality. Sometimes real life is just too hard to cope with.