Lucky Pups

Much as I loathe them, I think in my next life I might return as a dog.

I reckon if I was a dog, it would be easier to please a man  - in fact, I'd get to be his best friend. Then I received an email from my dad, entitled "Why Some Men Prefer Dogs To Wives".  He sent it to my sister too. We're both having Husband Trouble, so it maybe wasn't the most tactful thing... Nonetheless it contained some wisdom I can apply in my next relationship, see if I can keep a man interested. Like a dog, I am eternally optimistic. Maybe that's why I'm drawn to cats: they're naturally cynical.

1. The later a man arrives home, the more excited the dog is to see him.
2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
4. A dog's parents never visit.
5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
6. You never have to wait for a dog: they're ready to go 24 hours a day.
7. Dogs find people amusing when they're drunk.
8. Dogs like fishing, hunting, chasing around after balls.
9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask "if I died, would you get another dog?"
10. If a dog has babies, you put an ad in the paper and sell them.

No wonder I couldn't keep a man interested. See, my cold wet nose is nuzzling your crotch as you read.

Woof.