Ok gentlemen, here's the lowdown.
- Select yourself a clever, strong, feisty, hardworking wife.
- Set yourself the life-challenge of beating these qualities out of her through sustained psychological warfare over a number of years.
- Suck up professional, personal, emotional, practical, financial, sexual and domestic support like a sponge until she is bled dry of all life force.
- Tell her repeatedly that she is rubbish at her job, letting everyone down, not keeping the house nice, letting herself go, being boring and all manner of other criticisms until she almost has a nervous breakdown and suffers from clinical depression.
- Completely ignore the fact that she is ill from depression and make no adjustments whatsoever apart from telling her she is acting like a loser.
- Wait impassively until she heaves herself back unaided except by the magical forces of Prozac from the brink of complete collapse and finally feels normal again.
- Then unceremoniously announce you “don’t want to be in a couple any more” and dump her.
- Tell her you don't want anything else about your life to change, though.
- Wonder why everyone thinks you’re a bastard.
Life can be so confusing when you’re a boy, can’t it?
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