I really must keep better track, you know. It's probably PMT (or if you ask my mother, it'll be my menopause). I am so exhausted I can barely put one foot in front of the other, and I'm in a very odd mood.
It's the strangest time I can think of for a long while. The girls have hardly been here, the pressure of work has been extraordinary, and and and... Never did a person need so much reassurance. I am driving myself nuts, never mind anyone else. I am my own worst enemy, and when I've run out of things to worry about well hey how about I go out and create some more from the ether, just to remain fretful. I'm an insult to the good people around me.
I feel listless and panicky at the same time. All is not right with the world. I had a dream last night that I died in my sleep - I was quite surprised when I woke up. I look old, tired, fat.
I am hoping that a holiday is exactly what I need. Sunshine, swimming, reading, relaxation. And sleep, ah sleep, how I yearn for a day when the alarm is not needed and my body can take as long as it needs, in the cool darkness of the shuttered room and the soft hum of the air conditioner.
I will come back re-charged. I want to look like I've been away: fresher, brighter. I want to feel like I've been renewed. This is important: autumn holds more promises than a spring, this year.
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